It was recently Mothers day here in Australia. We didn’t really do much, we relaxed, I got some presents and breakfast in bed, and we just hung out. Not having my own mother around when it’s these days suck, and then I tend to forget when the day comes around in Norway, so it feels often like a non-day to me. The kids love it though!
Looking around on social media, there were many posts about motherhood, and some people were thanking their children for making them into a mum. It’s lovely, and I guess I could have said the same thing, but for me, this isn’t true. I mean, they may have given me the official title, put the crown on my head and draped the sash over my shoulders so the world could see – but they didn’t make me a mum.
My own mum did.
I fully believe I was a mum before I had children – because my own mother made it so.
She showed me all about motherhood. She raised me and shaped me and showed me what a perfect mother is – so I could take all my parentings from her and make them my own.
She loved me, and sang for me and read to me – and told me to shut it when I was too noisy.
She cooked for me, baked for me, played with me – and said “go and entertain yourself because I need this coffee.”
She praised me, and comforted me and stood by my side – and told me when to suck it up and get over it when I needed it.
She was proud of me, supported me and pushed me – but never lied about my capabilities.
She was amazing at everything, and even when she did nothing – she did it all.
She was perfect in every way, and even when she was flawed – she was everything.
She gave me everything I ever needed, and even when she gave me nothing – she gave me the world.
She taught me the importance of not being perfect. The importance of stopping to take a breath. The importance of working hard for something you believe in.
She was always there, even when I didn’t deserve it. She showed me the importance of sometimes not giving a toss about anything. She taught me that if you approach everything from a perspective of love, things will figure itself out. She showed me that I can be fearless and be whoever and whatever because she loved me so intensely. So I wanted to be her.
I say to my girls now: “Never ever be afraid of me not being there. Never be afraid of us turning our backs on you. It doesn’t matter if you lie. Or if you do something wrong. We are always, always going to open our arms to you.” I say this because that is how I was made to feel with her. My mother made me trust her to the moon and back – one of the most valuable things I have in my life. Knowing she was and always will be there for me.
She probably doesn’t know this. She probably doesn’t think that her way of parenting, or her personality, or the way she has always done things, have shaped me and made me who I am today. But she has. And I am so eternally grateful that it was from her all of me came from ❤ I just hope I can measure up!