Scared? Me?

So this weekend has been eventful. Well, not really, but we did end up staying overnight in the hospital with Melodie. I’ll tell you what happened.

She’d had two days off school this week. Wednesday she pretty much just had a sore throat and coughed and then the evening was worse. Thursday she stayed home as well, but she was fine exept for her sore throat and small amounts of cough-fits. Therefore she went back to school Friday morning, without a voice (so small that noone could here her). I told her that if she felt ill at all, I’d pick her up immediately and not to hesitate. The day went by, and at pick-up time she was happy as and had had a great day with her friends.

Then come the night. She was meant to have a gymnastics competition the next day, and I was contemplating calling her coaches and tell them she wouldn’t make it, but decided to just hold off until the next morning before making the final decision. Well, obviously, she didn’t go!

We played a game of monopoly (her very first game) and before we had finished she decided to quit it and go watch some tv instead. By the time the I had won (which is pretty standard, lol) she was sound asleep on the couch with her dinosaur pyjamas on. It was nearly eleven and we were about to pack up, and she woke up, unable to breathe properly. At first, we thought she was having a night terror, as she does have them sometimes, and we took her to her room. Realizing she had such trouble breathing, we decided we needed to take her to the ER. Simon packed up her medicine bag and got her shoes on while I gathered some stuff for us. A stressful situation which ended up with us half-shouting at each other as we got out of the door – in a way only parents hurrying their child to the hospital can do. Finally there, she got an umbrella (because obviously the weather was bad) out and we walked those very long meters to the emergency entrance.

She sits down on a chair, and the three people in triage office pays attention to her immediately, and before I am called to talk to triage and register her, two of them have rushed out and starts listening and talking to her. The lady behind the counter asks me if I can carry her in as they couldn’t find their weelchair, and I spend two seconds not answering (at this point I hadn’t even told them her name yet!) and by the time I said “Of Course!” one of the nurses just picks her up and removes her into a room. I could no longer see her. So, it is bad then, I remember thinking to myself. I continue to give the triage details and she explains to me that I’ll be following in a few seconds, they just needed to start monitoring her. I am of course okay with this, she needed care, take her wherever she will get it! At this stage I probably should be scared.

To cut a long story short, we ended up staying overnight. Croup was the final diagnosis, after considering asthma as well. She was moved around in a wheelchair a few times, and Melodie loved the attention! She was promised an icy pole at the start, and she made sure they kept their promise! After being given steroids and ventolin and having a red light on her finger, she slowly bettered and by the time we were moved to the ward, she was quite happy. At breakfast time she even ate a whole bowl of cereal – and loved her room. If she had a choice, she would’ve stayed another night, easy. For now though, we are monitoring her at home. She is currently sleeping in our bed, and we keep going in and listening to her breathing. So far she is fine.

And here’s the kicker. I wrote a status on facebook about it, and loads of gorgeous people commented and gave us their well wishes. And saying how scary it was. And my mother was scared. So was the rest of my Norwegian family. Melodie great grandmother sat thousands kilometers away worrying about her. And I agree. It should have been scary. I should have been worried sick. I should have been fretting and wondering and stressing and crying because my baby was in the hospital.

But I wasn’t. And I still am not. I don’t know why I have ended up being this ‘fear-less’ mother, but although I can hover over them and protect them against anything and everything, I don’t. Maybe that’s why. I have this inkling in life. When things are going to be okay, I can feel it. I stop worrying, and I just let it go. And that had kinda become one of my mantras and way of living. It will be okay – most things do. I am usually quite emotional, and loads of things make me cry. God, I am also the kind of mother that spends a minute looking at my kids playing, and I get all teary and need to remove myself before I actually start crying. In those moments I am completely naked and exposed and that is when all my fears come out. Then I can fear all the little things in life. Horrible, I know.

Maybe I am just really good at keeping my head cold and collected when I really need to. I don’t know. I know that I had every reason to freak out when the nurse picked up my baby and carried her away from me. I know that as I saw her struggling to breathe and talk and having to take this horrible medicine I should have been sitting next to her, shaking and waiting for her to get better. But I just stood there and listened to the doctors and rubbing her feet – smiling and humming. Maybe my attitude rubbed off on her as well. This morning I asked her if she was scared when she came in, and this was her answer; “A little bit, but I didn’t need to, because the nurses made me all better, and I knew they would. You said so.”

Maybe being ‘fear-less’ is exactly what I need to be for my children.

Xxx,

Line

 

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Obsessions

I don’t know if we all go through stages of obsession as adults. We probably do. I remember going through a stage of making homemade fudge when I found out how easy it was making it in the slow-cooker. And now I can’t even stand the thought of it. We ended up having batches of it sitting in the fridge for ages. That’s 1,5 years ago – and now the thought of it gives me chills. I also had this obsession where I needed to use ALL my clothes. This was a way for me to get rid of what I wasn’t using, so I had to try everything at least ONCE before packing it away or getting rid of it. Fair enough, but my ocd meant I had to try it ALL. Up to and including my wedding dress.Yes. It was weird.

The kids definitely do it though. Obviously they have all been in the ‘Frozen’ and ‘Minion’ stage (and they’re still there actually) and Melodie has her dinosaur obsession, which is still very much a part of her life. Last year, when Melodie had started school for the first time, pretty much all their play was surrounding some sort of school situation. Teachers, students, reading and more. While in Norway, it was snow leopards.

These days, unicorns, cats and rabbits are very popular. And birds. They still make playtime much about school, but now, as Sophia has just started dancing, it just so happens to be ballet school or dance competitions. Recently, they have been making little dens around the house and they pretend to be different animals and they ask lots of questions about what kind of creatures live where they live and how they live. Obviously many of their obsessions are very educational for them (anyone out there that has had a conversation with Melodie about dinosaurs can vouch for that. Still remember a friend of mine getting a ride in our car a few months ago, and a dinosaur toy was on the floor. He said something like: “There’s a T-rex here.” And Melodie coldly put him in his place: “THAT is a Cryosaurolophus. Thanks.”)

It’s not just what they play with though. Sophia has this thing where she changes her voice to sound like other people. She’s hilarious. Melodie insists on saying things such as ‘cannot’ and ‘do not’ instead of what most of us say; ‘can’t’ and ‘don’t’. They name their toys and themselves through play the same names, too. If you ask Sophia what her cat is called or what her pretend best friends name is, it is Lucy. Every time. If there are two toys that needs naming, the other one will most likely be Andrea. (When we were in Norway, two older girls came to see the kids a few times, and those were their names. So now everything has those names!)

I don’t think their obsessions are bad in any way. In fact, they can be highly entertaining, although a bit predictable some times. I would hate for their obsessions to turn towards electronics and the likes at this age. Luckily, they are still kids both in their head and at heart, and I intend to keep them playing for as long as I possibly can, obsessions and all.

dd

(just throwing a photo in there as I haven’t for ages…:))

What’s your obsession?

XXX,

Line

The nook

A few weeks ago we needed to find a new use for Melodies bed (more on This later) and decided to make use of it as a day bed. It was one of it’s purposes when we bought it, that it could be used as one. Our entrance has always been one that has been easily filled up with stuff, and it always looks cluttered. We decided to move it there and have now created a nice little reading corner, which is a work in progress, but that I will add to as time goes. For now it has a few cushions, and as I am a big fan of colours in creative spaces, I have obviously chosen lots:) I need more cushions, but I need the right shades, so I don’t want to rush it!

  
I sit here to study, and to read – and just for general relaxation:) it’s lovely!

Xxx,

Line

Status Quo

Today I had a boy come up to me with a letter as I pulled up in the driveway. I saw him while coming down the street, he was putting something into peoples mailboxes on our street, but since I was there, he put it straight in my hand. He told me his brother was having a party on the weekend, and that it was just a notice.

I thanked him, and went inside to read it. And I had some faith in the younger generation restored. Here we have a young man, not even 20 years yet, who is going to have a celebration for his birthday. There will probably be alot of people there, and they will probably be noisy. All this he mentioned in the letter, and apologising in advance, urging people to let him know if it ends up being too much. These are neighbours that make no noise otherwise, and who helped look after our house while we were away. It is a good family. And now I like them even more. We can handle a night of partying in our neighbourhood. And they didn’t have to say a word, all of these houses are freestanding. But I really liked it! Good on them, keep being awesome, kids:)

This week is kinda like the first week back, as we’ve had school holidays and things haven’t been back to normal completely. Melodie had her first day at school, and she thoroughly enjoyed it. Walking up to her new classroom and class, it was as if she was a celebrity! Some girls were watching her while she put her bag away, talking amongst themselves, asking me if she was, in fact, Melodie? As I confirmed, they all smiled and giggled and were eager and ready to show her her seat and help her sort her things out. The kids from her own class were happy so see her, and I left her there with not many worries. Obviously, training new people to do her diabetes care is the only worry, but the day went excellently and I have no doubt that the year will go great with them looking after her.

It was also time for her to start gymnastics again, and Simon is happy to start again doing the gardening there. Doing community things makes us feel good. Contributing to something positive in the area is rewarding.

For myself and the other two girls, we’ve enjoyed the very first day at home by ourselves. They are getting so good at playing together, and together with their big sister, so they were missing her quite alot. We will start the kindergym again next week, and since Sophia starts ballett Wednesdays that will probably be our day for that. Trying to fill the days with funsies for them – as I am not that good at coming up new fun stuff all the time:)

Xxx,

Line