My last post got my stats booming here (I had 77 visitors, which normally averages 10 per post…). People seemed to like reading about whatever kind of misery I had ended up with. I don’t know if you guys were doing so because you care about me or if you wanted to see that my life isn’t perfect (which obviously it isn’t, and if that made you feel better about yourself, you’re welcome!:)) – or maybe you were just curious. I don’t know, but I did get lots of well-wishes and people telling me that they love me, which is always nice to hear:)
One of the reasons why I didn’t actually write what happened, is because people are so quick to scoff and tell others that “People have it worse than you, just get over it already!” So unless something truly awful and life-changing has happened, we need to just get over it, as soon as possible? Often I see this, people complaining about other people complaining about seemingly small things, things others may not even think or worry about. But let me just get one thing straight:
I don’t know your story, and you don’t know mine. I won’t judge if you don’t. Less than 1 per cent of the people I have ever met know me enough to have a right to judge – and those people don’t because they know me! They know why some things might be devastating to me, where they may not even think twice. I know people who would have a near-mental breakdown if they ran out of coffee or if the internet went out or they couldn’t find their favourite shoes. Things I wouldn’t necessarily fret over – but still, valid reasons for someone to be upset. We don’t NEED to be in a third-world country dying of hunger to be allowed to feel upset about things.
I am very lucky. In fact, I am one of the luckiest people I know, honest. My life, although not the way I planned, has turned out pretty good, and I never look back. Therefore, I hardly complain about it (At least I think I don’t). In many people’s opinions, I am then not really allowed to say anything negative about stuff. I am just meant to tolerate everything that happens, just because I have the positives to bounce back on, right?
So I have a terrible flu, bed-ridden for days – but I smile and laugh, because it’s not terminal cancer?
I didn’t have time to go shopping, so all I’m left with is some stale bread and old jam – but I enjoy my meal, because someone else out there is literally dying of hunger?
My boyfriend of five years broke up with me – but I am celebrating, because at least he didn’t beat me and cheat on me while we were together?
Our house burnt down – but I break out the champagne, because we have it fully insured, and our neighbours didn’t!
Someone broke into our car – but I’m walking on clouds, because we actually have a car!
And then, our one very much real thing: We have a young child with t1d, which she will have to work hard to manage for the rest of her life – but we’re not allowed to feel for her with every high and low, and we shouldn’t flinch whenever we prick and prod her, and we can’t worry every time she is in the care of someone else, because she doesn’t have a brain tumor?
It’s bullshit, and it’s ridiculous. Go ahead and feel those feelings. Whether huge or small, it doesn’t matter.
And again, you don’t really know anyone’s story. You don’t know what else they’ve had to deal with today, this week or the last year. Maybe this was the tip of the ice berg. Maybe this was the only thing they felt comfortable sharing with you. And they sure as hell won’t share anything else if you tell them to ‘get over yourself.’
My tragedy may not be yours.
Also, you don’t know my story, you have neever been inside my head.
Just let us all FEEL, big or small – perspective doesn’t really make anyone’s feelings go away, but it may make them get over their tragedy quicker.