Summertime Sadness.

Here we are. At the end. The last weekend of false eyelashes, excessive amounts of makeup and ridiculously quick costume changes. The last weekend of hilarious props, unexpected laughs and side-stage dancing. The last weekend of getting into character, delivering lines and NERVES. No more hair-teasing, hushing and mic-testing. It’s soo bittersweet. Last weekend of hanging out with the greatest bunch of people that SA has to offer.

That is how I started the weekend on Facebook.

Wow. In so many ways, I am totally speechless. But on so many levels I have too much to say.

Our show season just finished. It finished Saturday really, but I have not had the head space to write about it yet. There has just been too much.

A few months ago, it all started. Nerves. Audition. Waiting for a phone call. The moment you pick up the phone, hear it’s your director, and expect disappointment. Being offered a part. Try not to squeal. Say thank you and hang up. Squeal.

Then, going to the first read-through. So. Much. Nerves. I tell you. it isn’t always easy being the new one. The one that knows nobody. Like, I literally only knew who the director was, and still, I didn’t know him. I should have totally freaked out.

Somebody came up to me, asked me if I was new, then walked me over to this small group of people. This was P, K and J. And they became my first friends from the show:).

As time moved on, we were setting more scenes, learning more songs, memorizing more dances and rehearsing lines. And with every rehearsal I was more excited. I mean, talent or not, I love doing this. It makes me so incredibly happy. It fills me with this sense of euphoria, so that even on the worst of days (when it’s cold as, and I am soo tired and my legs can’t handle any more moving.) I just know that I don’t want to give any part of it up.

But now, the euphoria is no longer present.  I am just… sad. Because it sucks when it ends. In the lead up to the shows opening, there was so much great stuff happening. The social part got bigger, post-rehearsal pub hang-outs, late night beach sessions with added carnival and playground shenanigans (for research purposes only. Ahem.) and generally spending so much time together that it feels as if we are a huge family. And that is what we became. And what we, hopefully, still are.

The problem now is, that I won’t be seeing them all again. Not like that, not ever. That, what we had, is no more. All the laughs and tears and moments together are now just memories. Good ones, great ones, awesome ones. But memories. No longer moments.

And I want to see them. No, I NEED to see them. One of the girls said to me on the last day, (and this is something that really touched me, and which has stuck with me, as it was everything I was feeling in just a few words) – “I don’t want you to disappear out of my life.” It was beautiful and profound and just what I needed. To know that what I was feeling was what others were feeling to. I am almost scared of seeing someone from the show at random again, as I will either 1: Suddenly be shy and not know what to say, or 2: Run up to them and be waaaay to excited to see them.

The dancing, the singing, being on stage together with that big bunch of extraordinary people, such massive talent and the beauty that are the BIG family, is secondary to the bonds formed and the love I have developed for all those people.

That being said; that stage, those dance moves, the songs and the acting – it was what I did it all for. It’s why we drenched our faces in make-up, why I hopped, jumped and skipped into that dressing room every single time. It was why I was nervous about every move on stage, why we danced our pre-show jitters away, why I left home as early as I could to be there on time, with enough time to ready my mind. This show was everything. And we did everything. And we nailed it. We got awesome reviews. And we went back to nail it again. When I say the show was secondary, It only means that now, when the show ends, the actual show is finished. But what we created, was so much more. Some of us used it as a part of a healing process. Some of us created a better self-worth. Some of us used it as a massive learning experience. I did all of that.

And now, we are sad. I know I am not the only one feeling it. I cried every show, and particularly the last one. I am an emotional wreck. And I am sad.

“In ways I still can’t name, I’ll never be the same, you reminded me that I could fly. There’s so much that you’ve already taught me, can you teach me how to say goodbye?

We must go on now, we’ll see this through. it’s nothing more than the grown-up thing to do. But always inside me, your smile will shine

and we’re gonna be fine.”

The words of the final song of the show could not be more poignant.

There are things that will never be the same/that I will never forget:

  • Pink. Or is it… pink?
  • Exercising equipment at the beach
  • Telling anyone to “Shut up!”
  • Vinegar
  • Do you get sexy when you’re angry, or the other way around?
  • Sooooooooosan
  • Coffee.. and whether to add milk or not.
  • Artichokes
  • DON’T play with that. It’s a TOY
  • Whooopsie!
  • Bean bag tossing
  • Your wish is granted!
  • Stars
  • Fan fiction/theories about what happens next
  • Yes, Mac, Yes.
  • Flocking.
  • The recasting at the final party
  • Toys. We make them. (and love it….)
  • Zoltar.
  • I want my room, I want my bed…
  • Beluga. Or Iranian.
  • TriColour eyeshadow.
  • Hyphens.
  • Anything in teeeeny tiiiiiny pieces!
  • And pretty much SO much more…

Man, we’ve had so much fun. And the after parties were so awesome! I mean, games, spas and jelly shots, how can it get any better? Oh yeah, that’s right, with awesome people!<3

I really don’t know what to say. Or write. It all just becomes ramblings. I feel like I have gained so much, and yet a part of me is now missing…

I would like to thank everyone involved with the show, DG for taking a chance on me in the show and for his amazing mind and directing skills, EK for being a massively talented MD and just incredible all around, SW for actually teaching me how to dance (slightly.), You are an amazing team!

What’s next, I don’t know. But it can never be as BIG as this was ❤ If I didn’t have these three little munchkins to shower with my love and attention every day, I would probably be lying in bed waiting for a breakdown of some sort…:)

I miss you all, already. And I hope you will be lifelong friends of mine.

(Oh, and P.S. Thank you for being so kind to my little girls. Melodie has made best friends and she wants you all to come to her birthday parties forever.:)



(and I will be posting a bunch of pictures tomorrow.)


Thoughtful Tuesday – RANT

Gaaaaah, sometimes I just don’t understand what people are thinking with.

Today was the second time in as many weeks someone came knocking on our door wanting my money for their charity. Fair enough, I understand they want money, but I am slightly (read quite) annoyed.

1. DO NOT KNOCK THE DOOR DOWN between 11-2. We have several prams displayed out the front of the house, that five second look around will tell you everything there is to know about out family, including the fact we have little ones, which will likely be sleeping during this time. If you use your sledgehammer to knock on the door, they WILL wake up. And I will hate you.

2. If you have woken up the kids, I am not going to talk to you. I will tell you, sincerely, that I don’t have time. Because if I talk to you, they may run away, or empty the fridge. So sorry, not sorry. Take my coins and leave, but I won’t sign up.

3. If I tell you they are sleeping in the room right next to where you are standing, what I am actually trying to say it STFU or keep it down to barely speaking. Also, keep in mind that if I am wasting my precious minutes of kids sleep time talking with you, it means less time for me to do the housework, drink my coffee or SLEEP. So BE NICE.

4. If you have succeeded in not waking them up, I may talk to you, but INTRODUCE YOURSELVES! I am not going to hand over my credit card details to anyone coming to my door unless they actually tell me who they are working for. It doesn’t matter what kind of statistics you throw in my face and pictures of starving children you make me look at, I care, I do, but I still have to be critical. A logo on a t-shirt is not enough. Tell me who your boss is goddammit!

5. I do not like the way the charities are doing it these days, honestly. I know they do lots of good work, but the way they want me to just throw my credit card details in their face, to plot in onto their fancy iPads (which could probably pay for a few months of food for the thrid-world’s children) gives me shivers down my spine. And no, I will not go and get my bank statement for you to get my bank details. It ain’t happening. Show me the tin for me to put my money in, and I will gladly chuck in whatever I have in the house, or tell me how I can give you a once-off donation, but no, no details from me.

6. WHY ARE THERE NO BROCHURES? If I am not willing to commit on the spot, you should have some kind of information I can take with me back to my (now cold) lunch and read, so I can be even more informed. “Well, I am the walking brochure” sounds great in theory, but I actually like to make decisions after having dwelled on them for more than 20 seconds.

and lastly:

7. If I do NOT give you my details, for whatever reason you will accept before I tell you to get stuffed, don’t walk away like a brat. I understand this is your job, and I probably don’t have anything against you personally, I just don’t like this way of operating. AND my coffee is getting cold, goddammitt. Now, if you only had a brochure…

I think I need to make a do-not-disturb sign…. Back to reheating my coffee! Again…


Outsmarted by a five-year old.

We’re in the car, on our way to the hospital for an appointment for Melodie. She is getting a continuos glucose monitor put on for a week, I’ll write more about that later.

One of the shops here have got these cards that you can collect, and she didn’t have that many until a friend of mine have me a whole heap and Melodie woke up to a stack of them. They are full of information about dinosaurs (and we all know of her obsession with the prehistorics!) – and then the very next day her Nanna came over with an album to put them in. Since then, I was given even more, and she is well on her way to complete the collection!

She is bringing her album to the hospital, and the kids are sitting there discussing the different Saurs:

Sophia: “That’s a T-Rex!”               Melodie: “yes, he’s a dinosaur.”   Sophia: “no!, it’s a t-Rex Melodie!”

And an argument ensues, because Sophia doesn’t yet grasp the concept, that he is both things, and Melodie has yet to learn how to explain it in lay mans terms.

Me: “Sophia, a T-Rex is a type of dinosaur, just like a stegosaurus, cretoxyrhina and a pteranodon!” (she nods, happy with that…)

Melodie: “well, actually mom. You’re not quite right…. A Pteranodon is a Pterosaur…. NOT a dinosaur…”

So. Well. Take that mum.



QUick update, with some exciting news!!

I know I have been very absent here lately, which has several reasons! For one, I have been b.u.s.y! WIth the show being on and last week being hectic as because it was production week with costumes and make-up and mic checks and all other things included, and then during the day I was a housewife. It doesn’t leave much time for extracurricular activities!
The show has been so much fun, though, so I don’t mind at all that it is taken up all my time, in fact, I would do this forever if I had the choice! This week has been better though, timewise, as we didn’t have anything on until thursday. After opening weekend and a great cast party, it was back to reality with school holidays finishing and life beginning to normalise.
The second reason for not having been very active, is our unstable internet. We just haven’t had anything good enough to do much more than posting short things on facebook. That’s been about it. And even then, nothing more than a couple of words here and there (if lucky, I have been able to message people privately!) But it seems to be better now, so touch wood, and hopefully it will be a bit better from now.
When it comes to the challenges, last weeks was easy, it was the make-up every day one, which was a bit of a cheat challenge seeing the show was on, but hey, let’s have some easy ones! I decided to have a challenge-less week this week as I really just forgot to even check what it was meant to be until late night tuesday, so I am starting the next one next week.
I do, really, have some news to share with you all, though! Some exciting things have happened in the last week! First of all, our charity walk we are doing in only a few weeks have reached its target! We are so happy that there are all these beautiful people that have donated money to our cause, of course we know not everyone will always be in a financial position to make donation, and with every money ticking in we have been overjoyed! I mean, we have reached our target, and THEN some more, and for every dollar and cent over we will be even happier and happier. Melodie has been so happy to hear that there are all these people that care about her all over, and she is looking forward to making cards for everyone who has sponsored us, as well as walking. We are of course taking conations up until the walk on the 7th of november, so if you still wanted to support our cause, please do!:D

Just some bankstage snaps, more to come later!

In other news, surprising to some, there are things happening at the end of the year! You see, we are going to Norway, again! I know there are people waiting for us to move there as soon as possible, but you’re getting the second best for now, which is me and the kids staying there for months and months. Simon has been given an amazing opportunity in his work that he simply could not say no to, and will be overseas working for several months, so instead of us being here all by ourselves, we’re going to live in Norway for some months. So all of you who are going home for christmas, stay slightly longer so you can hang with me over new years! We will be arriving on the 30th of December, and there will be a few hours layover in Oslo, so if you won’t be home (aka Sunnmore) and want to see us, send me a message!
That was just a quick update, I am now off to get some stuff organised for today, we have TWO shows today, one at 2 and one at 8, then yet another BIG cast party, so this will be hectic but amaaazing! Gotta love it!

Wind down 

Simon has taken the two oldest girls out fishing for the morning, so Ricky and I are left at home. Yesterday’s show was so much fun, and we’re doing it all over again tonight, so I need to not lie down and get deflated, need to be back on top level again tonight!

Instead, I am winding down with some baking, which, like singing, is my therapy:)

Lucky for Ricks, she is the only one here, so the only one to lick the spoon!:)



It’s time! 

It’s opening night tonight for our show, and I couldn’t be more excited!After a hectic but awesome week of rehearsals, last minute changes, make-up, dancing, costumes and more rehearsing, I decided that we’d all take a run to the beach. 

I never realised how much I love the sea until I went to australia and was stuck inland for weeks. Once I arrived in Adelaide, and I saw the ocean again, life instantly improved.

I think growing up by the sea has automatically made me love it, and it creates a calm in me I have only ever found in the opposite – on the top Of a mountain.

Lying down, watching the girls build their castles, going in for a dip and hearing the waves crash has put me in the right mindset for tonight, we are going to kill it! I am excited, happy and just nervous enough:)   

 Now all I need to do, is go home, rest, and then go hard:)

Back to the 80’s tonight!

(Chookas to all my fellow cast and crew for the season, let’s make it BIG!)



Let’s lunch

I know I have not been good at eating the last few weeks, meaning I have forgotten all about breakfast, and lunch and breakfast kinda merge and I forget to look after myself that way. If I have eaten dinner it has usually been half a serve as I am rushing to get myself ready for something, or someone else ready.

That’s why, today, I decided I am retreating. I made a nice, nutritious lunch all for myself, and I locked myself in the pool yard. The kids were on the other side of the fence, asking for my food. Obviously, they had pretty much the same only minutes earlier, but hey, why settle for their own, right?:)

I haven’t used the pool this season, but hope to get a chance tonight, as it is H O TT!:D

I wanna be in you, pool! (Just kidding not really just kidding)



I failed.

Last week’s challenge was all about getting as much sleep as possible, but I think I already knew I would fail. I went to sleep as early as possible Monday and Tuesday (Melodie and I went together Tuesday), but I stayed up longer Wednesday. I had a good reason, though, as I wanted to listen to the radio interview where some of the cast and our director was, and this was late at night. Then, on Thursday, after rehearsal, some were going to the pub for a hangout after, and so I joined them… I thought I was going to hop straight to bed Friday night when the girls were asleep, though, but we needed to get the house ready for an inspection the day after, so that was just not happening… Saturday night I technically could have had an early night, but I wanted to go to the beach with some cast members from BIG, (and who am I kidding, I had already failed anywayJ) but yesterday I was in bed less than a minute after parking the car in the driveway. Sooo, three nights out of seven….`:)

Looks like I will be trying that one again another week instead:)!

For this week, it is the make-up challenge, a bit of a cheat week since I need to put make-up on anyway for most of the days! But I will be trying a new look tonight, and then it will be Showtime!