Thoughtful Tuesday – Choosing a Gender

It is Tuesday, and I figured it’s been a while since I have posted my thoughts on a topic, and today I’ve read many articles regarding gender selection when having a baby.

Obviously, there are sometimes medical reasons why some people choose to go through that process. Obviously, that is nothing I will weigh in on. For obvious reasons. And if those reasons are not OBVIOUS to you, well… I will not explain, sorry.

I’d like to talk about those people who, for no health reason, travel to clinics, possibly far, far away and spends thousands of dollars to be able to (quite possibly) have either a boy or a girl – the gender they have chosen, through IVF. I don’t know if these people have to fulfill some kind of criteria – or if anyone can do it.

I have read many, many, MANY peoples (mostly women) opinion on the matter. And so many of them are negative towards these people who have made this choice.

The thing is, it does not matter what other people do. We need to stop judging these people up and down and east and west for something we can not understand. We need to say “Okay, I understand that this is what YOU want for yourself, however it is not for me.” If my neighbour decides to choose if they are having a boy or a girl, it doesn’t affect me, you see. Not at all.

Yes, a child is a blessing, and we should all be thankful for having healthy, happy children, but is a mother and fathers yearning for a little girl to tuck in at night and a little boy to stare into their eyes as they fall asleep not important? I think it is. We, as people in the society we live in today, are very privileged. I know of people who had several children, all the one sex, and will happily admit that although they love all their babies, they felt like maybe there was something missing. Should people be ashamed of themselves for having those kind of feelings? Absolutely not. We are human. We feel.

I feel like my opinion on this actually matter as well. I have three girls. Together we have four. It would be a complete lie if we said that not a single part of us wants a boy. OF COURSE we do. However, we don’t “fork out $50 grand and a trip to the US to have it done artificially” want a boy. We don’t have that yearning. But we very well could have. We are lucky not to. If we have another baby, and it turns out to be another girl, I will be thrilled! There would probably be a part of me that would be disappointed as well. Not that it’s a girl, but that it is NOT a boy. And that girl would be loved as much as any boy would have. And she would have been cherished by her big sisters as much as a little man would have. And she would finish off our family, just the way it was intended – for us!

An argument I have read over and over, is that we shouldn’t mess with nature. We shouldn’t play God. And what is meant to be, will be. But why can we not help create our own destiny? Why can we not choose the path that will make us the happiest? If we have the chance, why can we not try to close the gaps that are hindering our ultimate happiness from flourishing?

If we had a clinic down the street, who offered this very same service at a price we could afford, I can’t honestly say I would say no to it. I still don’t think I would, but hey, we will never know.

Let’s let people choose their own path and create the family that will make them feel complete. We need to stop judging.




One thought on “Thoughtful Tuesday – Choosing a Gender

  1. Absolutely. We opted for PGS testing and, along with gender, will learn which embryos are most viable and healthy. It cost an additional $5000 to test the embryos. I’ve had 2 miscarriages (unexplained) and would make the same choice over again.


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