I think that as the same time I became a mother, I began picturing all sorts of weird things that can happen – but are very unlikely. Yet, watching TV-shows, reading the news and hearing all the stories about stuff that happen to people doesn’t help with my irrational fears. I have three major ones that happen frequently, together with ones that come along every now and then. These are the everyday ones:
- The fear of driving off without my children. I think, because other people have done this, that this is a valid fear. We can be stressed out and lots of things on our mind, so maybe we forgot about the sleeping baby in their cot, or maybe the toddler escaped as I was putting her in, and I didn’t notice. I have a slight heart attack every single day when I turn around to count the amount of kids there, because what if? So far I have not left anyone behind, but I think my fear of doing so will help me. Touch wood!
- The fear of someone walking past me and randomly punching me in my stomach. I don’t know why my subconsciousness thinks this might happen, but I am sure it started whilst pregnant. You get very overprotective over your growing baby in there, and I can remember walking past people on the footpath or in a shop and not trusting them. Why anyone would do it? I don’t know. But I would put something in front of me, an arm or a jacket, or walk slightly to the side. And now I still do! Even though if someone did that now, there is no baby to harm.
- The fear that someone is hiding in front of the house, waiting for me to go outside at night, only to sneak in the open door. I usually close the door behind me – sometimes I even bring the keys. And I look around to see if there is anyone there. If I take out the rubbish or get something from the car, I have to make sure. It’s only when Simon is not around though, understandably.
The only justifiable fear is the ‘driving off without my kids’ fear. I can see why, when people do it all the time. But why do I have these other fears? I think the reason why is being a mum. In the back of my head, all I want is for myself and the family to be safe from harm, so I guess being mentally prepared for absurdity is better. Or I’m probably just nuts.
Do you have an irrational fear?