Welcome to the family!

It’s been about a month now since Simon and I, plus Melodie, went to the hospital for training and learning about our new life-saving device. We are now currently proudly sporting a Dexcom G5 in the house – and loving it!

It was a little tricky to start. First we had to find a phone she could use with it, and we had a few lying around, and it turned out my old iPhone was just new enough so she could use it. Score! Now, she might think it’s cool she has her own phone, but really, she doesnt have any apps or games on it as it wouldn’t work very well so it’s not actually that cool. Plus, she’s not really allowed to use it either, so as cool as it may feel, it’s not really:)

Since putting it on, it has been changed a couple of times, and she has found a spot she is happy with. She has had swimming week at school which went off without a hitch, she even danced on stage showing off her ‘Lexi’ without any worries, and most of the time she doesn’t even know it’s there. It is so handy to be able to monitor her levels when she is somewhere else, So handy that she could even have her first play date alone a few weeks ago! She just packed her things and visited her bestie, and everything was good! When she had her dance concert, I didn’t need to give anyone special instructions, because we could send text messages and she would tell me what she ate while I checked her levels. It’s great!

This is where it is life changing for us. Not only does it mean she can be elsewhere and we can check on her, but it also means she will become so much mOre independent and learn so much about her condition and how things work so that her and ours confidence in what the future holds for her. 

We love it when we see a steady line going straight forward. Sometimes we scratch our heads when she keeps spiking in levels and no one really understands how and why – but what we do know is that those spikes would never have been detected if it weren’t for the Dexcom and it is awesome. We have an appointment at the hospital in a few weeks, then we will find out whether it has helped lower her long-term levels (fingers crossed).


(You can spot our Lexi on the outside of her arm:))

We gave her the chance to name it, as you do, and Melodie quickly said ‘Her name is Lexi Dexi’ so now that this little device is here, we speak of it as it was a member of our family! She comes home from school, I ask her about her day, and then I ask ‘And how was Lexi?’ And before we eat and she is going to have an injection, we say ‘What does Lexi say?’ If she alarms for a high level, she will continue every couple of minutes until it has gone down after treating it, so often we’re all like ‘aah, Lexi, we know, be quiet!’

It’s quite funny actually, and Melodie does get a lot of question about it, but it hasn’t bothered her so far (and the kids in her class knows and are used to the alarms by now so they are all pretty helpful as well:))

Now fingers crossed all that needs this device will get it in this country, it sure would be nice!

Xxx,

Line 

And we’re at a hundred!

This whole blogging adventure is a funny one. If you’ve paid attention from the beginning, it has been going on for eight years now. Weird. When I changed platforms three years ago, it didchange though. It did make it all better and easier. And now, these many years later, I feel that the things I post here are a good mix of personal opinions, a little bit of parenting, random ramblings and some emotional stuff. What started out as a way for people to follow my adventures overseas has gone through family and friends being able to catch up on us and the kids and is now like an extension of myself.

I don’t have any one specific reason for writing. I mean, I write all the time. Most of what I write don’t get published, and the majority of my ideas end up being just that. Writing is for me very therapeutic, and will never be about having followers or earning money, free stuff or anything like that.

The weird thing though, is that it makes me really happy if someone tells me they have been reading my blog – and they comment on it – especially in real life! In one way it’s slightly scary, because sometimes I write personal stuff, and knowing that people are in my head when they read is a little absurd, (but I am aware it’s being made public of course:)) and it’s a little bit crazy at times that people actually do care about reading it. It makes me want to write more and gives me the courage to share even more! 

And that would be people I know. Somehow, though, my blog has got followers that are NOT friends and family. Somehow there has been a few people pushing the ‘follow’ button that don’t have any other reason to pay attention to what happens in our life. Not even the people that I share it with on Facebook. It’s almost even weirder than my actual friends doing so… but still pretty cool:)

I recently hit 100 followers though, which is preeetty cool. I’m not in it for that, still, I don’t hate:)


Hooray for hundred!

Xxx,

Line

How do you solve a problem like Sophia?

It’s so interesting having a child like Sophia. Everyone that knows her knows she is who she is. The teachers at the school (the ones who don’t even have her) know. The principal asked her if she was going to be ‘interesting again’ one day as she walks up with a stick in her mouth. People have conceded that they may or may not get a response out of her when they speak to her, and if you’re her best friend one day, she might ignore you the next. This is just… Sophia.

When her kindy teacher approached me after a few weeks of going there, asking me if she had hearing and speech issues, I had to physically keep myself from bursting out laughing and tell her that no, she hears quite well, she just chooses not to listen.

Now, I am probably getting ahead of myself, considering she is only four still, but I have this feeling that this, her special-ness, is mostly just a part of her personality.  Her stubborn-ness and individualism and the trickiness we have to deal with is all a part of the big, big picture, and I’m pretty sure that when I write about her in ten years time, not that much will have changed. Of course, the behaviours that are bad and inappropriate we try to get rid of of course, but you see, it can be quite tricky at times. And by quite, it means I sometimes see my hair falling out as I rush to stop her from doing something I told her a thousand times not to do, and she doesn’t even care – and I think quietly to myself ‘I do not believe in violence, I do not believe in violence’ because if I did, she’d probably be getting it. But I am still glad and thankful I don’t though:)

The trouble with Sophia (much like Maria in Sound of Music, if you didn’t get the reference:)) is that she’s not nasty and bad and rude or stupid. She can be naughty and not follow the rules, but she just does things differently and has so much love for so many things and people in her life and she is very clever and super-caring. I don’t like saying she is badly behaved because I truly don’t think that’s what she is either. (And you guys might disagree with me) She is challenging, hard to deal with at times and – as the principal said – interesting. I reckon she’ll give her teachers challenges too, but I think once they get to understand her and her different ways of being herself, she’ll thrive!

There are people who only get to see her challenging side though, but obviously I get to see the whole girl – always, so I know that she has so much goodness in her, an enormous amount of playfulness, and a super smart head to tackle challenges.

I get to hear her sing and laugh and watch her dance and build and see her talk to the baby and help out in the kitchen. She is always the first one to come running to help, and when something new is being taught, she often gets it more than her oldest sister, three times her age!

Like today, when we took their boat out. Simon got a hold of this tiny dinghy for the girls a while back but have been unable to find a motor for it. With the queens birthday and all, and everything finally working, we jumped in the car and drove to Port Julia to test it for the first time. Sophia got to steer it, and her technique was almost perfected immediately. Steady on, through the water, turning nicely, no being silly – she just really did an awesome job. The others, not as good.


So this is Sophia. She is great at all the things she puts her mind to, but only herself will decide to actually do it – we can’t force her! I love her special features and her interesting way of being, normal is boring, right?:)

Xxx,

Line 

Today I am a bad mum

This morning I am a bad mum. This morning Sophia came in to me and tells me: “I don’t want to go to Kindy today” and I thought to myself “hooray!” Yesterday Melodies new diabetes supplies ran out so I have to duck to the pharmacy today, but I really didn’t have time for that on my schedule, but her not going to Kindy works wonders for me. I did spend a good ten minutes telling her that she should go, there will be lots of fun etc. but she just wanted to be home with Ricky. I caved in. Explained that next time I will not. She says Ok.

Great, so this gives me almost an hour in the morning and 2,5-ish in the afternoon. Sweet!

Then Melodie. She slumbers out of bed a little too late for my comfort, but finished her breakfast and getting dressed in record time somehow, so I see the light! I make her lunch in the kitchen while the kids are watching a bit of Tv, and as I turn the corner to watch them I see them sitting on the floor, all of them fully dressed and pretty much ready to go – but they are not really ready. They are playing.

Somehow they’ve started a sweet little game where none of them are bossy and none of them are fighting and nobody is sad. So this morning I make the decision of being late – on purpose. I ask Melodie if she is okay with this, and she smiles back “does that mean we can play a bit longer?” “Yes, that means you can play a bit longer”

Who knows when their friendly playtime will stop? Who knows when Melodie is ‘too old’ to play with her little sisters? It’s not often mornings (even non-school-mornings) start this quietly and peacefully. And soon there will be a little baby in  the mix as well, that might change their dynamics? Nah, for now I am letting them play now, and learn later.

(They also have swimming week this week, so I feel the academic content at school is slightly skewed while this all happens, so don’t think she’ll miss out on much:))

I know this is not the ‘rightest’ way to do things, but this morning this feels absolutely not wrong. So now I’m sitting in my bedroom listening to them under the covers, keeping warm with a coffee before I have to take her to school for realz!

(Disclaimer though: Kindy is actually not compulsory anyway, so it’s technically not ‘wrong’)

Xxx,

Line

Oh, what’s in a name?

Choosing a name for babies is super easy for some, and harder for others. My mother told me she knew she wanted a baby boy called Thomas and named her dolls the same, so when my brother was born, I suppose it was easy for her. With me, my mum and dad couldn’t agree on the one name, so they just chose both. There’s a reason why there’s only a handful of people in Norway with my name combination – not very common.

I am weird with names though. I have way too many criteria to fulfill.

First of all, the name has to work in both languages. There are so many awesome Norse names that sound ridiculous once I try to English-fy them. And there’s quite a few English names that are lovely in English, but once they are pronounced in Norwegian are terrible. That eliminates quite a few.

Secondly, I need to not have associations to the name. Simon and I both absolutely love the name Madelynn, but since one of my friends have the same name, I just can’t use it. For Ricky (when we thought she was going to be a boy) we liked both Oliver and Theodore, but because both had been used by close people, I had to discard them. Simon says: “Yeah, but don’t worry about what they say, just use the names!” But this is not about them, it is me who has the issues. Lovely names, and I’m sure many wouldn’t mind if the name was ‘re-used’ but I just can’t get myself to do it. So you can imagine that eliminates a fair few also.

Then third, it needs to mean something. I remember I looked up a name once and it meant ‘sorrow’ or ‘grief’ or something not very nice, but the actual name was a good one. Once I knew what the name meant, I couldn’t use it. Many don’t care about the origins of names, but I like to know that it means something nicer.

And fourth, whatever name we choose needs to fit with the others. Now we have a Jasmine, Melodie, Sophia and Ricky, so a Bob is out of the question. We also can’t just suddenly go with a ‘different spelling’. The name needs to have at least two syllables, but no more than three. Together with the first middle name, all our kids (except Jas) have five syllables. I feel we need to continue this.

Fifth, middle names. Yes. We have chosen to give the girls middle names that are inspired or directly from our own grandparents, so the people who helped raised us and had a positive impact on our lives. Simon was pretty much raised by his, so it was very nice to be able to give Sophia the name of his only grandparent that I got to meet. The fact that she died the same year she was born, makes it a little extra special (and from what I know of her, I think she would have love Sophia). Melodie is named after my only living grandparent (and also the only one Simon has met) and she is also one of her godmothers, which makes it extra awesome. Rickys middle name, Alfreda, was ‘made up’ by combining two of my grandparents names into one, as my fourth grandparent had someone else named after him, I feel all my elders have been able to live on in someone new. Since we started this ‘trend’ in our family we need to continue, and we have decided to incorporate the name of the man who had the absolute most impact on Simons life and pretty much made him the awesome man he is today. This means that any first name we choose needs to not be ridiculous together with it either.

 

 

I also try to avoid the same starting letter, and the same ending sound. Melodie and Ricky are close, but because the -ie is longer than Rickys -y, it’s okay. I also like the name to be a little bit unique (and I do see the irony in Sophias name being super popular the year she was born but we just loved itJ).

 

Mel was a straightforward name. Simon and I both liked the name Alexandra, but then one day, I was watching the tv by myself in my unit, when the weather girl came up, and her name was Melody. I texted Simon and just said “I like Melodie” and he wrote back. “Done.” We didn’t know if she was a girl or a boy before she was born, but I do not like the boy name we’d chosen for her anymore. Sophia was a funny one, as we were driving to Sydney, we drove past a street sign that read, ‘Sophia street’ and as I said it out loud, Simon nodded and said ‘Yep, that’s going straight to the top!’ We did have a list of others, but once she popped out we were convinced it was the right choice. Ricky was always intended to be a boy. Or so Simon thought. The ultrasound lady said there was a bigger chance of it being a boy, and Simon heard ‘99% chance’. Just after, I said to Simon that if it turned out to be a girl anyway, her name had to be Ricky. The fourth girl (and one right after Sophia) needed a good start with a more powerful name to make her way through this crowd of girls, not too cutesy. And so the doctor pulled her out of me, and as my intuition had told me, she was a girl, and we laughed and said, ‘Well, looks like it’s Ricky then!’

So, the answer to the question; what’s in a name? A whoooole lotta stuff, for me. And will we ever find a name we both agree on, that fits all the rules?

For many people it’s not as complicated as this, and that’s great for them but trust me to not make it easyJ And also, there’s nothing wrong with having different criteria, and Bob is a great name even if it doesn’t fit us!:D

 

Xxx,

Line

Proud mamma

You know what is so hard about raising children? It’s that we’re raising them in a world that is becoming more cynical by the day, political correctness is at peak level and instead of teaching our kids that resilience is key, we have the ‘participation’ award. I try not to do too much ‘bragging’ about my children, but today I got all teary when I knew that out of all the kids we have – at least one of them will be the good we want to see in the world. We’ve done ourselves proud with this one. Hear me out.

Melodie had her first gym competition this morning. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to do it, but I talked her into it by explaining that ‘it’s not about competing’. She was happy and have been a little bit excited for a while. We got her dressed this morning, did her hair, all went down and sat there watching her perform (?) on the four apparatuses they had today. She did bars, beam, floor and vault. I thought she did quite well on floor, the other ones I had no idea if it was good or not. By the time it was time for their presentations, I had been watching her waiting for the next thing, while she was happily sitting there, smiling, talking with her friends, bouncing up and down and generally just being the awesome kid she is. Many of the other girls were bored and just sat there, while my Mel clapped along to the cheerleaders entertaining us while the scores were tallied up.

As they got ready to hand out the trophies, I was slightly worried. I had seen the other kids, and was pretty sure Melodie didn’t measure up to them, and although she had a cheery disposition this morning, you just never know with her emotion. Also, her BGL’s had been fluctuating heaps this morning, which often plays its part in her emotions. What if she was going to be sad that she didn’t place? I really can’t deal with that kind of heartbreak at the moment, so I braced myself, hoping I wouldn’t need it. They handed out their ribbon without us seeing them, then announced the first, second and third place. None of them were Melodie. I looked at her, she cheered for her friends, so far so good. 

After they were done, I came up to her, and she showed me her ribbons, she had placed third on the floor, and she was super excited, with a fourth and two fifth places. I turn to Simon and said: it’s a third! That’s amazing! She was beaming.

She skipped out to the car carrying her ribbons, saying ‘I can’t wait to share this with my classmates on Monday!’ And as I put all the kids back in the car, comes her pure saying that broke my heart, but in a good way:

“You know, I am so happy. One of the girls got all the number one ribbons, she is amazing. And I am so happy the other girls got the second and third, because they are so nice and I just love it when people do well.’

I had to go behind the car and just smile to myself. Because she obviously didn’t care about her own winnings and there was not a trace of disappointment. She was just genuinely happy that the other girls had success and that was it. If we can manage to get the other girls to her level of compassion and care for others, then we have certainly added some good back into this increasingly cruel world.

And yes, I am bragging, and yes I am endlessly proud of her and yes, I will try not to make it a theme:)


My gymnast and her ribbons<3

(And she did come third in something:))
Xxx,

Line

You made me a Mother.

It was recently Mothers day here in Australia. We didn’t really do much, we relaxed, I got some presents and breakfast in bed, and we just hung out. Not having my own mother around when it’s these days suck, and then I tend to forget when the day comes around in Norway, so it feels often like a non-day to me. The kids love it though!

Looking around on social media, there were many posts about motherhood, and some people were thanking their children for making them into a mum. It’s lovely, and I guess I could have said the same thing, but for me, this isn’t true. I mean, they may have given me the official title, put the crown on my head and draped the sash over my shoulders so the world could see – but they didn’t make me a mum.

My own mum did.

I fully believe I was a mum before I had children – because my own mother made it so.

She showed me all about motherhood. She raised me and shaped me and showed me what a perfect mother is – so I could take all my parentings from her and make them my own.

She loved me, and sang for me and read to me – and told me to shut it when I was too noisy.

She cooked for me, baked for me, played with me – and said “go and entertain yourself because I need this coffee.”

She praised me, and comforted me and stood by my side – and told me when to suck it up and get over it when I needed it.

She was proud of me, supported me and pushed me – but never lied about my capabilities.

She was amazing at everything, and even when she did nothing – she did it all.

She was perfect in every way, and even when she was flawed – she was everything.

She gave me everything I ever needed, and even when she gave me nothing – she gave me the world.

 

She taught me the importance of not being perfect. The importance of stopping to take a breath. The importance of working hard for something you believe in.

She was always there, even when I didn’t deserve it. She showed me the importance of sometimes not giving a toss about anything. She taught me that if you approach everything from a perspective of love, things will figure itself out. She showed me that I can be fearless and be whoever and whatever because she loved me so intensely. So I wanted to be her.

I say to my girls now: “Never ever be afraid of me not being there. Never be afraid of us turning our backs on you. It doesn’t matter if you lie. Or if you do something wrong. We are always, always going to open our arms to you.” I say this because that is how I was made to feel with her. My mother made me trust her to the moon and back – one of the most valuable things I have in my life. Knowing she was and always will be there for me.

 

She probably doesn’t know this. She probably doesn’t think that her way of parenting, or her personality, or the way she has always done things, have shaped me and made me who I am today. But she has. And I am so eternally grateful that it was from her all of me came from ❤ I just hope I can measure up!

 

XXx,

LIne

Silently she moves in

Having children co=sleeping with their parents is usually a topic where people are very divided. Before I had kids, I thought it was something unnecessary, and didn’t want my kids sleeping in bed with me. I need my space, right?

Wrong.
Then I had kids myself.
And then, Simon was away at work. And Melodie got sick. And I was exhausted and lonely, and I put her in bed with me so I could sleep while still being near her. And that’s when it all started. Because sometimes they’d be sick. Or I’d be sick. Or they’d be scared, or lonely, or worried, or Simon has been away, or I have been away, or something else that makes them want to snuggle up in bed next to the big, safe, trusted parents they rely upon to keep them happy, warm and safe as a house. And I’d look at them with all the love in my heart that I could possibly have and know there’s no way I can turn them down.
As babies, Ricky never slept in our bed. This could be because she slept right next to us for a long, long time before she moved into a room on her own, so she was always near us. Melodie did a little bit here and there, and Sophia was the one who slept there the most.
We don’t actually co-sleep now. We just let them in our bed sometimes. And the funny thing is, we try to have them sleeping in their own beds first anyway. Then, some nights, they might come crawling into bed with us. Maybe they had a nightmare, or they woke up scared, or they just missed us during the night. And they crawl into our bed, finds their way, just as the instinct of a baby joey, to the little gap (if there even is one) between Simon and me, and squeeze their way in.

I am not joking when I say we don’t notice this. I’m not a heavy sleeper at all. I can hear if one of them gets up to go to the bathroom, or wakes early and goes downstairs. I once woke up to Melodie reading to herself in her own bed, without noise. But when the kids climb into bed? Hardly ever. Ricky and Melodie are not the worst offenders. They will most likely be found in their own beds the next morning, and only occasionally comes to us at night. Some nights though, we wake up to someone grumbling “get off me” or “mooove” and find that all three have come around during the night. And it’s hilarious:)
Sophia, however, is a breed of her own. Not only has she mastered the stealthy climb-into-bed method so we don’t notice anything, she is now happy sleeping the other way. The last couple of nights she has asked to sleep on the couch, and I’ve said yes a few times if I know I am watching a show or something, and the funny thing is that she actually falls asleep quicker there than anywhere else! And we generally turn all the lights off in the house, so it’s pitch dark. Still, she manages to get herself up, walk all the way to our bedroom, in her sleepy, not awake state, with her blanket, open our door and crawl into the foot of our bed, positioning herself right in the middle of her mum and dad, without us even noticing a thing. I find it adorable whenever I get up at night to go to the toilet and I have two separate people snoring in my bed, Simons feet AND his head.
There has even been times when we haven’t found one of the little ones, and they were in our bed all along! I don’t have a problem with the kids coming into our bed, they love us and wants to be near us sometimes, so I don’t see why we would ban them, and I also know they are not dependent on it (and won’t continue until they are adults… ). Yet, if they want to sleep next to their mum occasionally when they are teenagers, I will always make room for them regardless, I Love their cuddles:)
Xxx,
Line

All gone

Cut all my hair off! Well, I left a little to play with, but considering the amount that used to be there, it is now about half the length. It’s weird. And nice. And I’m not sure what to do with it, and it’s okay:)


About time! I said after the show finished I would chop it all off, and I’ve waited a few weeks to have time and today was the day:D

Now I’m off to google hairstyles:)

Xxx,

Line

Last days

It’s been school holidays here for the last couple of weeks, and the kids are back to school tomorrow. We haven’t really done as much as we wanted to during this time but the kids say they’ve had a great time regardless.

Yesterday we decided to go for a drive down to Victor Harbor and walk around Granite Island, which we haven’t done since Simon and I first started going out. On our first ‘getaway’ we stayed in his tiny caravan that he had back then in the caravan park in Goolwa, and one of the days were spent in Victor Harbor. He took me out to the island and it was the first time I ever had scones, because he had to teach me how to eat them. We told the kids this story and I was very excited because for some reason we’ve never been back there since they were born. Being Norwegian, walking in nature is something I always enjoy, and combining this with the continuous smell and sound of the ocean makes it even better. Also a bonus is that it’s not a difficult walk for either my pregnant self or the little ones.

We had our lunch first and I dressed the kids in their rain gear as its been raining around the state the last days and I figured there’d be puddles. Sometimes it’s painfully obvious that I come from somewhere different because the other kids on the playground were in shorts, thongs and singlets..:)


I was very happy I let them stay in their rain clothes though, as this meant they could jump and climb and sit and slide around on the island without having to worry about them being all filthy and muddy by the end of it and they had pretty much free reign instead of constantly reminding them to not get dirty.


Before getting around they had to obviously see the horses (for those who’ve never been there, there’s a bridge out to the island with a horse-drawn tram!).


The girls absolutely loved exploring all the rock formations and imagining what they all looked like. What I saw as a bee, was a frog to Ricky and a dinosaur for Melodie. Sophia, unsurprisingly, was the first one to climb into every hole and cave she could find, and picked every flower she could see.

Although we didn’t see any penguins or sea lions we did see lots of quails running around which was just as exciting for the little ones:)

The best part about going these places with the little ones is that we see so much more and so many details than if it was just Simon and I. So many adults walking quickly past the big bunch of quails while the girls were busy studying them. 

After strawberries and cream back on the mainland and driving around looking at some historical buildings and houses we drove home, but a cafe halfway home was giving out free milkshakes so we hopped in line and the girls had the best ending to the day:)

Now, one more day before school and normality starts again:)

Xxx,

Line 

She puts all of her trust in me

 

Tonight, we decided to go for a drive after dinner, we chucked all the girls into the car and off we went. We normally end up going to the beach. The ocean will always be my happy place. I never knew how attached I was to the sound and smell of the waves crashing until I found myself in the middle of nowhere in Australia, where there were only miles and miles of flat ground. It had its beauty, but after having lived in Mildura for a while and then in the middle of nowhere, arriving in Adelaide, hopping straight on the tram to Glenelg and breathing the fresh sea-breeze again made me feel alive once more. Simon has spent half of his life either in or on the water, so he is the same. The sea is where we are reborn.

After a drive down, where Sophia fell asleep first while the other two refused to, Simon and I left the car with sleepyhead and Melodie still there, while we got Ricky out and walked onto a boat ramp we found. Melodie sat in the car with the windows and doors open singing Disney songs while paying attention to what we were doing. Ricky got to spend a few minutes with only Mamma and Daddy, and she loved it. She didn’t want to go back in the car, and was asking Simon if the two of them could go fishing instead, and of course, nothing makes him happier than a child of his wanting to go fishing! She was happy when he told her she could come out with him again ‘real soon’.

This was pretty much enough for her. After a playdate with friends earlier in the day and some extreme running around at home, she was pretty much set. Melodie got to hear some more of her favourite songs, and when they were all asleep we parked the car just outside an ice cream shop for a late night naughty dessert before heading home. The streets are so much nicer after dark when there’s only a few people out and everything is calm. And beachside is usually one of my favourite places.

 

 

We get home, and all the girls are asleep, so we carry them inside. I am of course giving myself the job of carrying Ricky inside while Simon takes the other two. While he goes to unlock the door, I unbuckle Ricky and picks her up into my arms. She wakes up just a little, pushes herself out so she can see me, and once she sees it’s me, curls herself back up into my neck and stays there. I realise that the look she gives me is one that is filled with trust. Yes, she is in my arms, a place where she will always be safe.

And it hits me. Of course, she trusts me. Of course, they all trust their mum and dad. And I am reminded that this is an automatic response in little ones. They have and will always trust their parents. The people who are with them from they are little (and I am sure this is true for foster and adoptive parents as well) don’t need to earn their trust, it’s just always there. They will never question whether I will feed them, clothe them and keep them safe. That’s why, when the news of this world talks about all the times when mothers and fathers and other carers use that trust and abuses it it cuts me.

I need to know about what happens in the world. In everything in life, I am always thirsty for knowledge. With Melodies diabetes, I always ask questions and want to know as much as humanly possible. For me, it helps knowing what the worst-case scenario is, it freaks me out less. Many people are not like me. At all. Some people are happy to be on a need-to-know basis, and that is cool. We deal with life differently.

I need to know about what happens in the world, because I believe that knowledge is always going to be power. This does mean I have read countless articles and stories about all the tragic things that happen in the world, both locally, nationally and worldwide. This, unfortunately, also means that I continue to have my heart broken by all the cruelty in the world. Luckily, I self-heal. I spend time with my family and friends and praise the gods of the world that we are so extremely lucky that we are where we are. That my children have such a wonderful dad and that I was raised by the people I was raised by so I, too, am pretty amazing. The odds were in our favour, and we need to use it for good. We need to use our position to make the world a better place. How? Not sure. All I know is we can be kind, brave and never stop trying. And we need to make sure we never break their trust.

 

Xxx,

Line

Lest we forget 

Got everyone up early this morning to attend the dawn service for Anzac Day. If you are unaware of what that is, it’s simply put a commemoration of the members of the defence force who have served their country, particularly honouring the veterans and the fallen. We have never attended one as a family before, Simon used to participate in a March in NSW but that was later in the day, and two years ago we went to the city to see Him march together with his dad.


It was a lovely morning and the kids got to have candles and sing along to the national anthem – and they all love it when daddy wears his uniform (and Obviously I do too:)). This year Simon had more medals than last year and we are very proud of him. We were initially meant to do a different thing today, but Simon changed his mind and wanted all his girls at the service, and surprisingly we got all the girls up and dressed and were ready and there on time! 

The rest of the day will be spent on something nice, I believe Simon has promised the girls to go bike riding so we’ll see. In any case we have spoken about the wars and explained to the girls what this day means, and I am sure as they get older they will understand more.

As a Norwegian on this day I can’t help but think back to the heroes of my own country as well, and feel as though I am just as much honouring them as well as all soldiers and defence personell who spend and spent so much time away from their families in order to keep us safe and ensure our future was secure. Those are the people who are responsible for our safety today. It’s scary looking around at the world today and see so much evil and dangerous stuff going on – and with threats from all over can we really feel safe?

I know I do. I know we have people of the same caliber as my husband fighting for us, ready to defend us to their last breath if that is what it takes. I know we will be kept safe from harm because they are strong. The good always win in the end. 

And may we never forget their efforts. May we always show them our respect. And may we always treat them well and give them all they need to keep going.

Xxx,
Line

#studysunday

I tend to do things slightly differently than the norm. Where others place themselves on a desk to study, my favourite workplace is the bed. Not because I’d prefer to sleep, I just like to spread out, and becaus my studies involve both books, hand writing and using the computer, I can change positions easily. I also like to sit with my legs crossed and that doesn’t work neatly with a desk.


So this is my office today. Simon has taken the two youngest ones out in the boat and I’ve spent the majority of the day already in bed, studying. Well, I also did do an hour of sleeping, but the baby wanted it, and who says no to babies?? I used he rest of the morning up until now watching German kid songs and stuff on YouTube. Research. Ahem.

Time to do some proper stuff, I have an assignment due in a few days and I’m 1/3 there, so I’m expecting to be at 70% by the end of the day! Wish me luck:)

With my lunch ready, Norwegian rice porridge from last nights dinner, a pitcher of orange juice and of course loads of ice (honestly it’s probably 60% ice… yum<3) I’m set for the next few hours #lowcarb #paleo #vegan (Just kidding!!:))

Also, cutting off half of my hair tomorrow, stay tuned:)

Xxx,

Line 

A girl like me

Some days when we have not much planned or we can’t decide what to do, we ask the girls what they would like. We’d get answers like ‘go to the playground’ or ‘take Joey to the dog park’ or ‘watch a movie’. But not from Sophia. By now you should know that Sophia has no problem being slightly different – and we love her. Sophia will call out ‘GO TO IKEA!’ and then usually be shot down because it’s not the ideal family day when Simon has a day off. Now that she has started kindy, Ricky and I have been there a few times without her, and it doesn’t sit well with her at all.

It’s school holidays here this week and next, and I figured we might as well go there this week, while Simon is at work, and planned to go with some friends. I am always excited when I go to IKEA, and now that all three of them can go to the playroom, that hour of not having to watch them is solid gold. Together with endless drinks and meatballs.

Last night Sophia was very sad. They had been given the task of tidying up the lounge room, but only Melodie was doing it. I’d told them ‘if you clean up, you get to stay up, if you don’t, it’s time for bed’. The Two little ones obviously had a mind of their own and after a few times of reminding them, Simon and I grabbed one each and took them to bed. Obviously they were not happy. I had Sophia, and she was devastated. Absolutely beside herself upset that she didn’t get to get back up and continue cleaning up. She had previously put one book away, so that qualified as cleaning, right?

I read her a book and lay down next to her, the hurt in her eyes glowing at me. She was not going to sleep, she was too sad. I told her: ‘Guess where we are going tomorrow? It’s somewhere you always ask to go!’ She looks back at me, smiling through her tears ‘IKEA?’ I nod, adding that her friends are coming too, and she laughs and cries at the same time, putting her head back on the pillow. ‘I am so happy now’ she tells me, and I thought now she was going to go straight to bed. I kissed her goodnight again and left her room.

Now, this is Sophia, so she didn’t just fall right asleep, but the crying stopped and she told me tomorrow was going to be ‘the best day ever.’ Just like me when I go there:)

Xxx,

Line

Some good news – at last!

Throughout most of the last three years when Melodie was diagnosed we have been asked countless times by health professionals if we’d consider an insulin pump and why not. Although I have many reasons why we’d like to wait before we get her one, one of the reasons is cost. Because of Simon earning over a certain amount, we don’t get anything subsidised at all (in fact, he would have to go down loots before it would be subsidised for us, and that’s not because his salary is over the moon, but because the threshold is set quite low.) I have always felt like one of the things that are the most annoying about it is that when it comes to things like this, here in Australia, the kids are being ‘punished’ for having parents that earn an okay amount of money, and only the poorest people will get it for free, and because we’re talking about children here, I think it’s bloody unfair to be honest. The pumps cost a lot of money. $10k would get you an okay one. Ten thousand dollars. Now, we have enough money to get by in life, but we are in no way swimming in money, and we certainly don’t have ten grand plus just sitting around waiting to be used on medical equipment (Especially when I know that we can just hop on over to Norway – and it all comes for free, regardless of your financial status).

Anyway, although there are other factors why I’d like to wait, that’s been one of the main reasons.

One thing we’ve been wanting though, is a CGM. If you don’t know what that is, it’s a sensor that measures the blood glucose levels continuously, and sends the numbers off to a receiver. Imagine how handy that would be, huh? No need to wake Melodie up in the middle of the night, pry her fingers open just to get a drop of blood out and see. No need to wonder whether her levels are high because she has food or dirt or other things stuck to her fingers. No need to wonder if her hypo has just started, or if she has been going down slowly.

Whatever our views have been on the pump, I’ve continued to ask if we could look at a CGM for her, but all the people have been telling us that they only suggested that to kids with pumps, and I would go home annoyed because I knew there were devices out there that didn’t work with pumps. I kept dreaming.

Then the news came. 

On the first of April (what a day for it) it was announced that the government would fully subsidise these CGMs for kids with diabetes, and although I was so happy I could cry I was also wary that we probably would not be eligible, like in the past. I mean, great news and great for the government to do this, we just were preparing to fight for it.

We went in to our appointment yesterday ready to put on the waterworks and cry our way to get one of these, but the lady that saw us first told us we were eligible regardless! So no financial threshold, no medical crisis and I didn’t even have to exaggerate to get it. We just filled out the form, and we are meant to be getting one in not too long!! So happy!! Still not yelling out with joy as I am still expecting hiccups, but it’s looking good!

Goodbye to worrying about her levels at school, I can leave her at dance or gymnastics without too much worry, and our lives can normalise slightly – hey she might even get her fingers back to normal!

It’s safe to say I have cried:)

Xxx,

Line

Come with me, and you’ll be – in a world of…

My imagination! Only it’s real!

I’ve decided to – since it’s the last weekend of our show – to snapchat my way through it, so you can all get a glimpse of the backstage life of the musical theatre here – from my point of view:):) (on my story)

Obviously I can’t show you any of the actual show because it’s illegal (and I ain’t planning on breaking any copyright laws!) but some change room, intermission, getting ready and you know, final cast party time:D 


So come with me, and I’d love to get requests about what you’d like to see, maybe a specific costume, or warming up or I dunno, our awesome sewing machines?

If you’re not already a ‘follower’ on snapchat, my username is “linesmyk” 😘😘

Let’s  do this!

Xxx,

Line

We really would like to share, but..

I’ll let you in on a little secret. Simon and I both know what gender our baby is. We are absolutely thrilled – and we would have loved to share it all with the world! But there’s a big but…
You see, for almost four years we have been hearing the same damn thing; “Hope it’s a boy for you then!” “Wow, three girls?? You must be hanging for a boy!” “What if it’s just a girl again, will you keep trying for a boy?”
And then Ricky was born, being, obviously, a girl. “Well, better luck next time!” “Oh, that’s a shame, was hoping you finally got a boy.” “looks like you’ll keep trying!” “FOUR GIRLS?? ARE YOU CRAZY?”
We were downright being told by people (and very often strangers, who frankly could just fuck off if you ask me) that the girls weren’t good enough. That we were meant to be disappointed. I started to hate the idea of having a boy. If our familys luck was defined by ‘being blessed with both genders’ then I didn’t want a boy. Give me all the girls, because that kind of talk just ain’t right.
And now, still, there is a general misconception out there that we would like to have a boy. Hey, there’s even people believing that the reason we are having this baby is so we could ‘try for a boy.’ To you I say Shame on you. How dare you. How dare you put these thought into any of our heads, my girls heads, that somehow, for some reason, a boy is now more wanted, more superior to a girl? That somehow if we in the delivery room have a baby pop its head out, crying out for its mom and dads love and care – if that baby has genitals pointing the ‘wrong direction’ – we will be disappointed? Shame.
If you are one of those, you probably must be thinking; “But that’s not what I mean, I just… It’s just a joke, don’t take it so seriously… Come on, gee, I don’t MEAN it…” But strictly psychologically, when someone tells you something over and over, and when you hear something an endless amount of times, in your head, it creeps its way down to your subconsciousness and becomes a truth. It doesn’t matter how ‘serious’ you meant it. Because you, and all the other people who have made similar comments since Ricky was pretty much conceived contribute to this ‘truth’.
And I tell you what. Luckily, it’s not the truth. Because from the bottom of my heart – I do not have any preferred gender. At all. When our baby is born, there is not an ounce of me that will be disappointed about the state of their reproductive organs. I realise some people do have a preference, and that is absolutely okay, I’m just not one of them. Honestly, if we end up with a whole bunch of girls, then I will be so stoked for all of us (Maybe slightly less for Simon because of hormones, but he already has to deal with mine…:)). If we end up with a little baby brother at the end, I will still be over the moon. And please do not think for a second that I am not speaking the truth.
When we went to find out what the baby is, I was nervously shaking. I knew that the different outcomes would give me different reactions. I knew that if it was a girl, my head would go “Damnit, now we will be hearing about this for years to come still, I wish people would just shut up.” I also knew that if it was a boy, I would think that “Finally, now they can all just collectively shut up!”
That’s not what I wanted for myself. I wanted to hear the words ‘BOY’ and look at Simon with tears in our eyes because we had made a boy. I wanted to hear the words ‘GIRL’ and look at Simon with tears in our eyes because we had managed to do it again. That was all. Instead, the experience was foiled by all these ‘other people’s expectations’.

 

We really would like to share our gender reveal with the world. But we are not sure yet. Because we don’t want the “finally, you did it!” comments and the “Oh no, better luck next time!” remarks either way. Our girls are not inferior to any boy out there. Boys are not superior to girls. Our kids are gorgeous and wonderful and amazing, and that has nothing to do with what is between their legs.
If you, the world, can collectively promise to shut up about their gender and just be happy that we yet again have created perfection, then we might agree to put the reveal up here.
Tuesday night rant over. (I realise it is Wednesday today, but I wrote this last night and then my internet shut down.)
Xxx,
Line

Why my heart bleeds

Sitting around the dinner table and the girls are asking me a serious question: 

How come you cry whenever we are crying?

I look at them all, they look at me as if this was something they had been discussing for a while before asking me this obviously serious question.

I start.

‘Mamma cries when you guys are hurt. When you have pain, are sick or when you are not treated nicely. I might not always have tears coming out, but when you are sad, my heart is also sad.’

I can already feel my eyes well up. Sometimes these insights into how they think and how their wondering minds work baffles me to tears.

They are quietly processing this, and I continue:

Before you were born, you were inside my body. You were sitting just below my heart. My heart and body gave you life and kept you alive until you were born. You were living closer to my heart than anyone else ever will. That’s why when you bleed, my heart bleeds.


‘That’s beautiful,’ Melodie says. ‘I’m going to tell that to my kids.’

And then they all giggle at the fact they were all inside my tummy<3

My heart will never stop bleeding for theirs and I will make sure they know it. At least the do for now.

Xxx

Line

Baby news!!!

What you are seeing is true! Our family is well on its way to expanding once again, and we all are very excited. In fact, the girls are probably the most excited and make plans every day about this new baby:)


Some of you may have known that we had been trying now for a while to have the fourth child that we always wanted, but things were taking a bit longer than usual (compared to the other three when we only needed to think it – and we were pregnant). Obviously we were very excited when we realised just before Christmas that we’d complete our family in 2017! In August, to be Exact!

You may think that we have obviously known this for a while, and it’s true, we are more than halfway, but with this baby we have not had any need to make this public for everyone. Maybe because it is the last one? Maybe because we haven’t really had much time? I don’t know. But I do know it is time now:D

I don’t even know if I have told many people at all. We’ve only sporadically shared this news – mostly just with people we’ve hung out with, and only a handful of people in Norway. It’s just been different this time.

I’ve also been slightly hesitant to share this for a reason, but I might get real in the next post about why. For now, let’s just be happy and intrigued and show love:D

We are super excited about this new little one About to become a part of our family – and to make life even more busy, adventurous and amazing<3

Xxx,

Line 

Aaand we’re open!

Well, soon anyway:)

It’s been a long but incredible road since the first day of auditioning back in December, to where we are today – 

But i can tell you that it is such a good feeling knowing we now have a great show to put on for the people coming to see us! 

This week has been so intense, getting ready and setting it all up on stage, so many hours and hard work out in by this amazing team of cast, crew and orchestra – not to mention the production team!

This is me now, trying to relax in bed before taking to stage again, show number one out of nine- but in reality I am so pumped and excited that my poor attempt at getting those extra minutes are spent going over the show and songs again:)

This is going to be epic, guys – if you are around you have to come and see it, it’s so colourful, happy, fun and fantastic with some incredibly talented people involved!

(And an extra shout out to Bec who is generally killing everything she is doing right now:D)

Can’t wait to get on he stage again with those awesome humans – so happy I got the chance to do this again!! 

LET’s DO THIS fellow PAJAMAS<3

Xxx,

Line

I need

I need to write. I need to get it all out and clear my head.

But.

I can’t really get there. My head is full of so much and yet it is completely empty.

I have arrived home. Have been shopping, taken car of the family’s nutritional needs for a few days. It’s what I can do. I need to be there, but he also needs to be there. We need the break but we also don’t want to miss anything.

I needed to remove myself before I could see things clearly. And by doing so I saw the errors, the mistakes made by others, the things I didn’t see – the spots where I should have risen and spoke my mind. Instead I put my faith in the system and trusted their capabilites, forgetting along the way somewhere that they too, can make mistakes. That they too, are always learning.

But no more. Once I get all these things out of my head ill be back. But before that I need to rest. And probably cry. But mostly rest. And then I’m sure it’ll all flow better in the morning…

Xxx,

Line

Coping

I didn’t know today was going to be one of those days.

It was looking like it would be a productive day for me. Melodie was meant to go home with a friend after school for the first time, and she was very excited. I got a question from a friend if we wanted to hang out with her and her son for the day and I declined, knowing I had mountains of study to get through this week and this was a good day to do it.

I planned to take one to school, then two to dancing, then rush home and plonk them in front of the tv while I practiced my German for a few hours. Since I didn’t have to go to pick Melodie up, and Wednesday’s are my shopping days, my mind was ready to go and stock up on all the groceries our house is currently out of , then be home ready to cook/eat by the time she came home. Sweet, sweet plan.

But you’ve probably guessed it by now – no.

It started around midnight when Melodie woke up – which she really ever does during a night terror. Something was up. Yet again at 4am, just up and telling me she wasn’t feeling too flash. By morning time I told her she could keep sleeping as she probably should stay home. Didn’t eat breakfast, just a tiny cup of milk. Headache, she called it.

I got the girls ready for dancing. For once they went there in their dance clothes which they never do as we normally go somewhere after or come from somewhere else, but since we were only going there I figured it was fine.

We’d only just pulled over to buy coffee when She got sick. I won’t go into details but it was enough for the little ones not to be able to dance and for me to resign and just head home. I regret not getting myself a triple shot coffee in the way home though.

Since then she has almost not stopped, the poor thing. She knows she needs to eat a little and drink so she does. But she is already weak. And Simon is not here. Still, we will of course cope. Luckily there are people around that I can call upon to help get supplies or just to get sympathy and I’ve let Simon know that if this escalates and there’ll be more than one going through this he might have to call it quits and return early. Hopefully he won’t have to, but at least now he is prepared.

Phew.

It’s never easy when these things happen and it’s always at the wrong and most useful times. But my fingers are crossed that this will pass soon and we will wake up tomorrow and it’ll all be over:)

Xxx,

Line

Days

This often becomes my setting when I sit down to relax with a meal or a coffee (or both). At the front of our house, looking at our citrus trees who in so many ways have become metaphors for our lives, and how the limes are growing bigger by the minute.

I often sit here to relax, do some writing, or just watching the world go by – not that much is happening on our street, but since our backyard is closed off I can’t see anything there. Also, as a Norwegian, the whole backyard being completely fenced off so it’s totally private is still slightly bizarre to me. I can’t think of many houses in my hometown who have their entire backyard (mind you, we also cherish our front yards as well) fences off. I’m not saying it’s better, but it’s different.


This is my lunch. With homemade strawberry jam (not technically but there’s no actual English word for it so..) made by myself out of a whole bunch of free strawberries I managed to score a few weeks back. Delicious!

I am writing a list today, as I often do. The big girls are at school and Ricky has just come home from her music class and she is still dancing in front of the tv eating her own lunch. Right now, life is all good<3

Xxx,

Line

We don’t have to be friends

I cannot remember specifically my mom telling me that I ‘had to be friends with everyone’ – but I can also never remember her telling me the opposite, that it was okay to omit people from my life. I feel I was always taught the former, and that we all had to be friends. Obviously, at school, this wouldn’t happen. I mean, it couldn’t! There were heaps of kids, with different opinions, backgrounds, hobbies and personalities, everyone being friends is a Utopia we will never get to find.

Obviously, I have told my kids (Melodie in particular) that we HAVE to be friends with everyone. I have always urged her to get other kids to join in their play, even when she didn’t want to. I remember when she was in reception, there was one person who asked to join their play, one of the kids she was with said ‘No, you can’t play with us’ and the other walked away, Sad, of course.’ When Melodie told me this I told her that the other kid was not the boss of the playground, and that she would be a really good person if she stood up and said that ‘Yes, you can play with us.’ It took courage for her to speak up against her friend, but when she did it she came back to me and said they had had a great time, all of them! She didn’t end up losing any friends for standing up and she has since gained many more friends by ‘seeing’ them. Now, yes, telling this story sounds like I am trying to make myself and Melodie sound like saints – and that is fine. Because although I may not be, she is actually a genuinely good person with way too much good in her heart.

Which is why I ended up changing my story. Now I tell her you don’t HAVE to be friends with everyone. And there’s a reason why.

 

Some years ago I was doing a thing where I had to work alongside people I didn’t choose. Like most situations. In this group of people, most were nice and good people, but there was one man whom I just simply couldn’t stand. He was just one of those obnoxious people. I remember speaking to my mom and said: “Now that I am an adult – do I still have to be friends with everyone?? Do I not get to choose my friends now?” She answered me “Yes, unfortunately we need to still treat people nicely and politely and friendly.” Now, my plan was never to actually be mean to him – or bully him or anything like that. I just figured I could steer clear as much as possible while still getting the job done. And so I did. He was never ignored or spoken badly to, I just didn’t ‘hang out’ with him.

Melodie had a kid in her class who was not very nice. She would try to hang out with this kid sometimes, but she always felt like she was not made to be ‘equal’ and she would often come home and tell stories about how this kid would be nasty to Melodies friends and classmates and that people would often be made sad by what has been said and done. I sat her down and said to her: ‘You know who your friends are. The ones who treat you kindly and that treats you fairly. The ones that you are never intimidated by. The ones who make you laugh, not cry – and encourages you and wants you to be happy. And vice versa. If there are people who do the opposite of this, they are not your friends. And you do not have to be friends with them.’

So, because I had been chanting the ‘let’s be friends with everyone!’ mantra for so long, it confused her, and I had to be specific. And the truth from adulthood came out: In life we will and we do meet people that we can’t stand. Some times we know why, other times we don’t. We meet people that are rude, obnoxious, inappropriate and annoying. We will also meet people who are downright mean. None of these do we have to be friends with.We have every right to say we do not want to be friends with. However we do not get to sink to their level and ‘be like them’. We don’t get to be nasty, rude and bullies. We still have to be polite, courteous and nice. We are allowed to tell them our opinion of them, but it needs to be done with lots of thought and carefully so we don’t intentionally hurt them. But most importantly, we can just choose to live our lives without them in it. We can choose the people that make us laugh and feel good inside. The people that are supportive and honest. The people who, despite differences manage to find common ground and plant some solid seeds. The ones who love you almost unconditionally.

 

There is a fine line though, I will still start off with the littlies telling them they have to be friends with everyone, for one the kids their age are usually not ‘meanies’ on purpose, and secondly, I need to start with the good. Then, when reality kicks in for them, too, I will tell them that they do have a choice.

Xxx,

Melodie

 

Best and Worst moments when doing a musical

I was trying to explain to Simon the different levels of excitement when doing a show, because I am in the middle of doing one at the moment, and decided to put it down here, see if other agree with me:) I have five ‘moments’ (although they’re more than that) of best and three worst. Here we go:

The four best ‘moments’ when doing a show: (in no particular order)

1: Getting the phone call and being told you’re in!

2. Sitzprobe – always amazing!

3. The first run through of the whole show!

4. When we finally nail that ridiculous song/harmony!

5. Opening night<3
Four worst things about doing a show:

(Also in no particular order)

1. The waiting time between audition and being notified of the outcome – the torture!

2. The week between show weekends when there’s no rehearsal and no dry run and you feel like you have no purpose.

3. Someone vital to the production gets sick and it’s chaos (luckily it doesn’t happen ALWAYS but when it does, it’s hell!)

4. Final night 😫 ya’ll know I cry like a baby from the start of the overture…

Do you agree? What would you add?
I am very excited though, The Pajama Game opens in March!

Xxx,

Line